The wedding mass is where your wedding actually takes place, and therefore, it's a smart thing to put a little time and effort into planning your wedding mass and giving it your personal touch.
While it's true that preparing mass liturgy is not everyone's cup of tea, and one must take the help of people trained and experienced in writing liturgy, it is also a mistake to 'outsource' this job completely to that seminarian friend / church lady / acquaintance priest / devout aunt / etc., when there are so many things about your wedding mass that you can customise and really make your own.
So, if you're the ones getting married, or you're helping someone prepare their wedding liturgy, then this is for you. While this post will not make you an expert in liturgy, it will give you a few pointers about the main choices you can make in your mass liturgy.
The order presented on this page is for a wedding within mass, and is a little different from the structure for the two other possibilities: a wedding without mass, and a wedding where one of the spouses is not a Christian.
Please note that this post is mainly based on the old, 1969 edition of the rite of marriage, and there is a new, second edition in English, known as the 'Order of Celebrating` Matrimony'. Where there are important differences between the two, it has been mentioned in the following text. This new edition is coming into use in different regions of the world at different times. For instance, as of Jan 2017, it is mandatory in Australia, England and Wales, and in the United States, while no date has been set yet for introducing this new translation in India. Much more information about the second edition is available on this page.
Theme
You can choose a theme for your wedding, such as:
The theme can then be like a common thread running through the entire wedding day, by connecting the following to the theme:
In case the two of you are finding it difficult to decide on a theme at the outset, then don't fret; sometimes, as you start working on your wedding liturgy, you may find a theme emerging from your choice of readings, hymns, etc.
Introduction
You may come up with a short introduction to be read before the mass begins, introducing the theme of the mass and welcoming the guests to the eucharistic celebration. This could also be a good time to invite the assembly to participate enthusiastically in the mass.
Entrance procession
The entrance procession is optional. It may be omitted, and the priest may greet the bride and groom at the altar. If there is to be a procession, the priest greets the couple at the entrance, and the assembly stands while the priest, ministers (e.g., lectors, altar servers), and the wedding party walk to the altar.
The Rite of Marriage suggests that the bride and the groom walk in the procession together, however, there is flexibility allowed in this matter. An oft-seen custom is for the bride to be escorted down the aisle by her father who 'gives' her to the groom. Proponents of the custom of the parent(s) of the bride giving the daughter to the groom say that it signifies that the bride is now entrusted to the groom's care and demonstrates the blessing of the parents on the union. Others point out that 'giving' the bride away also harkens to the days when women were viewed as property, and marriages as a property transaction. One may also consider that the bride and groom walking in together is more in tune with the Catholic understanding of marriage, that the bride and groom give themselves to each other, and they enter into marriage as equal partners.
The Order for Celebrating Matrimony allows for the priest to greet the couple at the door of the church before the procession, or near the altar after the procession
Penitential rite
While the penitential rite was a part of wedding masses earlier, as per the new edition of the missal, the penitential rite is to be omitted for a nuptial mass.
Liturgy of the Word (Readings)
The mass readings are the most important choices the bride and groom get to make. This is because the rest of the mass, such as the priest's homily and other prayers will depend heavily on the chosen readings. Hence, the readings should be chosen with care and they should mesh with the theme of the mass. You can read more about wedding mass readings in detail in this post.
Nuptial rite
The nuptial rite calls for the community to stand during the rite of marriage, this is because the community takes part in this rite, and they are not mere spectators. The priest usually asks the congregation to rise, but sometimes it so happens that the priest does not ask the people to stand, and they remain seated throughout the rite. In order to properly follow the rules of the rite, the commentator may ask the people to rise, in case the priest doesn't.
Vows
Some Christian denominations, it is possible for the vows to be altered. In the Catholic church, the vows cannot be changed. However, I don't see any need for writing one's own vows: the Catholic wedding vows promise complete self-giving in the most beautiful and succinct way possible. There is one alternate form of the vows allowed, but this is only for dioceses of the United States.
Prayers of the faithful
The Order of Celebrating Matrimony gives two example sets of Prayers of the Faithful (see nos. 251 and 251 in this pdf).
According to the General Instruction of the Roman Missal (no. 70), the series of intentions must be:
However, it goes on to say that for a special mass, like a nuptial mass, 'the series of intentions may reflect more closely the particular occasion'. Thus you can include prayers for yourselves, deceased relatives or other significant people in your life. However, these prayers are also the prayer of the whole Church and thus, one could include prayers for for all married couples, for families, for marriages and families facing difficulties, for the sick and the lonely, for Church and world leaders, and for peace and justice, that people may know Jesus and gain eternal life, etc.
Offertory
For a nuptial mass, as per the rite of marriage, the only items prescribed are bread and wine, and "other gifts for the needs of the Church or the poor". The bride and groom usually carry the bread and wine for the offertory.
Nuptial Blessing
Immediately after the Lord's prayer, the couple kneels, and the priest faces the couple and prays over them. The Rite of Marriage provides three different options for the Nuptial Blessing. The nuptial blessing is followed by the sign of peace.
Other wedding mass customs and traditions
There are many other customs and traditions for wedding masses, like the unity candle, kissing the cross, laying flowers at a statue of Mother Mary, etc. You can read more details about these in this post.
General notes regarding nuptial mass liturgy
Credits
Special thanks to Austine Crasta for his inputs for this post.
Useful links
While it's true that preparing mass liturgy is not everyone's cup of tea, and one must take the help of people trained and experienced in writing liturgy, it is also a mistake to 'outsource' this job completely to that seminarian friend / church lady / acquaintance priest / devout aunt / etc., when there are so many things about your wedding mass that you can customise and really make your own.
So, if you're the ones getting married, or you're helping someone prepare their wedding liturgy, then this is for you. While this post will not make you an expert in liturgy, it will give you a few pointers about the main choices you can make in your mass liturgy.
The order presented on this page is for a wedding within mass, and is a little different from the structure for the two other possibilities: a wedding without mass, and a wedding where one of the spouses is not a Christian.
Please note that this post is mainly based on the old, 1969 edition of the rite of marriage, and there is a new, second edition in English, known as the 'Order of Celebrating` Matrimony'. Where there are important differences between the two, it has been mentioned in the following text. This new edition is coming into use in different regions of the world at different times. For instance, as of Jan 2017, it is mandatory in Australia, England and Wales, and in the United States, while no date has been set yet for introducing this new translation in India. Much more information about the second edition is available on this page.
Theme
You can choose a theme for your wedding, such as:
- The lifelong journey of learning to love with Christ
- You are the light of the world (this one would be suitable for couples who feel called to share Christ with others)
- Walk with us Lord till the end of time
- Hand in hand with Jesus, let us spend our lives together
The theme can then be like a common thread running through the entire wedding day, by connecting the following to the theme:
- A poster that can be put up in the church for the mass
- The wedding booklet
- In the centrepiece for the wedding reception
- In case you're giving away a card or keepsake as a memento of the wedding
In case the two of you are finding it difficult to decide on a theme at the outset, then don't fret; sometimes, as you start working on your wedding liturgy, you may find a theme emerging from your choice of readings, hymns, etc.
Introduction
You may come up with a short introduction to be read before the mass begins, introducing the theme of the mass and welcoming the guests to the eucharistic celebration. This could also be a good time to invite the assembly to participate enthusiastically in the mass.
Entrance procession
The entrance procession is optional. It may be omitted, and the priest may greet the bride and groom at the altar. If there is to be a procession, the priest greets the couple at the entrance, and the assembly stands while the priest, ministers (e.g., lectors, altar servers), and the wedding party walk to the altar.
The Rite of Marriage suggests that the bride and the groom walk in the procession together, however, there is flexibility allowed in this matter. An oft-seen custom is for the bride to be escorted down the aisle by her father who 'gives' her to the groom. Proponents of the custom of the parent(s) of the bride giving the daughter to the groom say that it signifies that the bride is now entrusted to the groom's care and demonstrates the blessing of the parents on the union. Others point out that 'giving' the bride away also harkens to the days when women were viewed as property, and marriages as a property transaction. One may also consider that the bride and groom walking in together is more in tune with the Catholic understanding of marriage, that the bride and groom give themselves to each other, and they enter into marriage as equal partners.
The Order for Celebrating Matrimony allows for the priest to greet the couple at the door of the church before the procession, or near the altar after the procession
Penitential rite
While the penitential rite was a part of wedding masses earlier, as per the new edition of the missal, the penitential rite is to be omitted for a nuptial mass.
Liturgy of the Word (Readings)
The mass readings are the most important choices the bride and groom get to make. This is because the rest of the mass, such as the priest's homily and other prayers will depend heavily on the chosen readings. Hence, the readings should be chosen with care and they should mesh with the theme of the mass. You can read more about wedding mass readings in detail in this post.
Nuptial rite
The nuptial rite calls for the community to stand during the rite of marriage, this is because the community takes part in this rite, and they are not mere spectators. The priest usually asks the congregation to rise, but sometimes it so happens that the priest does not ask the people to stand, and they remain seated throughout the rite. In order to properly follow the rules of the rite, the commentator may ask the people to rise, in case the priest doesn't.
Vows
Some Christian denominations, it is possible for the vows to be altered. In the Catholic church, the vows cannot be changed. However, I don't see any need for writing one's own vows: the Catholic wedding vows promise complete self-giving in the most beautiful and succinct way possible. There is one alternate form of the vows allowed, but this is only for dioceses of the United States.
Prayers of the faithful
The Order of Celebrating Matrimony gives two example sets of Prayers of the Faithful (see nos. 251 and 251 in this pdf).
According to the General Instruction of the Roman Missal (no. 70), the series of intentions must be:
- for the needs of the Church
- for public authorities and the salvation of the whole world
- for those burdened by any kind of difficulty
- for the local community
However, it goes on to say that for a special mass, like a nuptial mass, 'the series of intentions may reflect more closely the particular occasion'. Thus you can include prayers for yourselves, deceased relatives or other significant people in your life. However, these prayers are also the prayer of the whole Church and thus, one could include prayers for for all married couples, for families, for marriages and families facing difficulties, for the sick and the lonely, for Church and world leaders, and for peace and justice, that people may know Jesus and gain eternal life, etc.
Offertory
For a nuptial mass, as per the rite of marriage, the only items prescribed are bread and wine, and "other gifts for the needs of the Church or the poor". The bride and groom usually carry the bread and wine for the offertory.
Nuptial Blessing
Immediately after the Lord's prayer, the couple kneels, and the priest faces the couple and prays over them. The Rite of Marriage provides three different options for the Nuptial Blessing. The nuptial blessing is followed by the sign of peace.
Other wedding mass customs and traditions
There are many other customs and traditions for wedding masses, like the unity candle, kissing the cross, laying flowers at a statue of Mother Mary, etc. You can read more details about these in this post.
General notes regarding nuptial mass liturgy
- The priest who will be the main celebrant for the mass has the final say about all aspects of the liturgy. Be sure to get the liturgy approved by the priest before you print mass booklets and handouts to readers. Also, be prepared to be overruled by the priest and for spur of the moment changes by the priest. It happens. Just chill and take it in your stride
- Avoid preparing the mass liturgy in such a way that makes a mass feel boring.
One way to achieve this is by selecting appropriate hymns and singing them in a way that encourages the participants to join in singing instead of having a choir 'performing' exotic hymns, such that the people tend not to join in singing.
Another thing is to avoid prolonging the mass by adding unnecessary and long commentary pieces, and also to avoid excessive additional practices that are not prescribed by the liturgy and cause breaks in the flow of the normal nuptial mass.
Credits
Special thanks to Austine Crasta for his inputs for this post.
Useful links
Further reading
Updated 21 May '17
- Directives for the Celebration of the Liturgy, Conference of Catholic Bishops of India (CCBI), 2016
Updated 21 May '17
Nice information’s. Thanks for sharing useful info.
ReplyDelete